When Love Is Not Enough
Contributed by Zach
its nearly that time of year where gargantuan bouquets of roses would make killerbees happy and all the motels in metro are full…yes, i am referring to valentines day, that one other day in the year where commercialism is at full swing as with christmas day, where hordes of would be gawains throng the lines to buy imported chocolates and gifts (if they’re on a tight budget, a single rose would do and the gurlash would say awwww)…
sad to say that i have never gone out on date on valentines day..either im always at work or im currently boyfriendless… not that i would want to follow trend or tradition. i did get the occasional gargantuan bouquet of roses and the occasional chocolate, but as for dates… naaah a fellow atheist asked me before i was invited to join the group if the question of atheism would pose a problem for me for choosing would be eligible boyfriends..little did he know that i was an atheist back then hahahaha…but i did get my share of the heartbreak, when the question of our religious differences arose.
i was an atheist..he was a member of the INC..he was 3 years older than i was..i was two inches taller than he was hahaha…he played the guitar, i played the piano..we both liked and wrote poetry..and he was currently taking up the course in college i had so dreamed of taking (architecture)… he was outgoing, i was shy…but it was love at first sight the day we were introduced and our eyes locked. my female friends knew that there was a chemistry between us… they would constantly hound and tease us, to which we both responded gracefully with bemused smiles… we never went out on a date, nothing was ever formal between us… but we both knew what we both felt for each other.
then i met his bestfriend, a fellow from his faith. i have no ill-will against this person, since he also became one of my close friends in the years to come… but what hurt me most was when he would tell me upfront that my religion, or the lack of it, would pose a problem for the two of us. he told me to face the realities of pursuing the relationship, that i would have to convert.
i left him.
its not that i did not love him, i loved him so much that i had to let go… loving a person does not mean that we have to lose our identities just to please the roaring public… i could have converted, married him… but i chose not to.
we met again after five years, he was about to be married, i had just gotten out of a disastrous relationship… this time we did go out on a date (just dinner) and caught up on each other’s lives… he still holds a special place in my heart… plus the questions of “what if?”… we can never go back in time, we can only try to comprehend the reasons and the lessons the past is trying to tell us… we are still good friends, i know that he is married now and lives in canada… and as for me…
i am content with what i have right now in my life… the friends and the special friend… the people who will either stay or just pass your life.
happy valentines day to all.
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February 14th, 2006 at 9:38 am
Should have told your ex-bf’s co-church goer that you’d still give them ten% of your earnings, it is after all what their congregation is after :). Anyways that was frustrating to hear. Happy V Day to you, and god*less
February 15th, 2006 at 12:41 am
would i compromise my lack of belief so that i can have a relationship with another person? probably not. what kind of person would i be when im frabricating my belief. i wont be true to myself. what kind of partner would s/he be if s/he cant scant accept me. the whole of me.
i dont celebrate valentines either.